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May 3, 2011 You’ve probably heard this saying. When someone is lost or in the middle of nowhere, they might refer to their location as, “they’re in BFE.” We’re not going to focus on what you think it stands for, because I mean it a little differently, as in where’s the Blame, Fault, and Excuses? Although, in my opinion, they refer to the same state of “lostness”. In business and in life, things happen to us that shape how we think and act. If you’ve ever taken a personality test, you may remember that they often show your “natural” style and your “adapted” style. Our experiences shape our adapted style. For some, this can be excellent tempering. For others, it can be something that knocks us down and doesn’t let us back up. But we each have a choice as to how we are going to adapt and respond to our experiences. Now I’m not a fan of crazy, over-the-top positive mental attitude, but I’m also not a fan of being a “victim” either. The way we react to experiences in our lives can have an enormous impact on our personality. When something negative happens to you, do you find yourself in BFE?Blame. What do we naturally do as humans when something goes awry? We have an inclination to starting looking for whom to blame. We want to point the finger at someone else, don’t we? My mom always said, “be careful where you point your finger because there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you....” Fault. The very next thing, sometimes simultaneously done with blame, is to look for whose fault it is. We are very eager to find fault with others rather than taking an honest assessment of our situation to see what responsibility we had. Listen, we’ve ALL made mistakes... big and small. Can we really CONTROL what someone else does anyway? Do we have the capacity to change THEIR course? Let’s examine what our part was in things gone bad. We can learn so much more from our mistakes if we take responsibility for them. We all live in glass houses... think twice before picking up that rock. Excuse. My favorite by the way. Once we realize that we really did have a part in the situation, we quickly switch directions with an excuse as to why we “possibly” might have screwed up. “Well... I did that because...” Really? I have a friend that says, “excuses are like butts, we all have one and they ALL stink...” I can’t think of a better way to sum that up. The New and Improved BFE. Break Down. Rather than blame, let’s break down or analyze what happened WITHOUT EMOTION OR EGO. Fail or Formulate. What was it that failed or did it even qualify as a failure? John Maxwell, a well-known leadership expert, wrote a book called “Failing Forward” that talks about the value of screwing up and moving on in a constructive way. Educate and Elevate. Now that you’ve broken the situation down and formulated what happened, it’s time to educate yourself and others and elevate your knowledge. You can get KWINK’y with it if you’d like. “Knowing What I Now Know... what would I do different?...” So if you’re lost or in the middle of nowhere now in business or life , take some time to use this “new and improved” meaning for BFE… You’ll be gleaming with confidence in telling others you are nowhere near Egypt anymore!
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